Line of the Week

We had so much fun with our first line of the week post that I’ve decided to host another one.

Look over what you’ve written in the past week, and then share a favorite sentence or paragraph here in the comments. Feel free to give us context if you’d like. If you’d rather post your line on your own blog, link back to this post so we can all pop over to read it. And remember, this is a supportive community and not a critique group.

Here’s a paragraph from my historical novel from the point of view of the protagonist’s mother, who is pregnant with her third child:

Henri would no longer be her youngest. She thought of his hands as a baby. How she had to pry his fists open to clean the fuzz between his fingers. How, when nursing, he would relent and open them, like buds of flowers giving themselves to the sun.


About Laura Stanfill

Publisher, Forest Avenue Press
This entry was posted in Fiction, Writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Line of the Week

  1. Pingback: Line of the Week « The Contracting Keyboard

  2. Sara Flower says:

    Great paragraph! What is your historical novel called?

    This is a paragraph from my second book, a (historical) horror called Possessed (for now):

    Adeline spun around, her full skirt swaying like a ship’s sail. Gabriel jumped down from the tree, landing awkwardly, and ran to catch up with her. She gawked at him once he reached her side.

    “I’m sorry, all right? Most girls back home aren’t interested in climbing trees or exploring. If you don’t mind, I would like to start over again.”

    Adeline crossed her arms as a hint of a smile formed on her girlishly pretty face.

    • Historical horror–cool mix of genres! I love Adeline’s spunk already–and that gorgeous line about her skirt. Thanks for participating, Sara!

      My historical, which begins in the 1840s in France, is titled LOST NOTES. That may change during this draft, but it has been my working title for nearly a year.

  3. Pingback: A Paragraph From The Second Novel « Saraflower's Blog

  4. Heidi Leanne says:

    I love your excerpt, Laura! I love the comparison to the opening flower bud. Very cool imagery.

    This comes from chapter 16 of my WIP. On a walk through the forest west of Sydney in 1894, the point of view character, May has discovered a tree that has been carved by the Aborigine’s that live in the area – it’s bark taken for containers, utensils, or any number of things they use the bark for.

    May cast her eye’s one last time on the scarred tree. It’s vibrant red bark contrasting sharply to the elaborate patterns of dark brown dead heartwood exposed to the elements. That’s how she felt. As though someone had taken a knife and carved out pieces of her, exposing her heart to the unstoppable forces of the wind, rain, insects, and birds.

    • Thanks for posting your excerpt, Heidi! I love that tree. It’s such a specific object–specific to that time period and aboriginal culture. It’s so cool to look at what’s left of it in May’s point of view.

  5. Laura, this is fun. I am enjoying the sentences left in comments and yours as well 🙂 This is from a up market women’s fiction I am submitting this month to Kensington. The main character has just come home from a vacation and finds a “Dear Gail” note from her husband. It’s a bit longer than one sentence, but I couldn’t leave out hanging without the punch line. Hope you all enjoy:

    “I don’t care. You said your friend has a heavy, all terrain vehicle. Please Marcy, you’ve got to get here.”
    “Hold up.” She covered the phone, but I could still hear. “Bruno, we can play French Maid all night.”
    “Yeah, but I gotta get the truck back.”
    “No, you don’t. You’ll tell him it’s under five feet of snow, which is where I’ll put you if you don’t get your pants on and get me over there.”
    She got back on with me, “No problem, Gail.”
    “French Maid, Marcy?”
    “Yeah, he’s tired of the Cowgirl. Good thing, those chaps were killing my thighs.”

    • Ha ha ha! What fun, Florence! I would love to see more of these characters. It’s amazingly cool that I could have guessed upmarket women’s fiction just from these few lines of dialogue. Good luck on your submission!

  6. In the past week, huh? Okay, this is from Part Three of Stevie One, my WIP:

    “Let me tell you about last night.” Stephanie said. She rolled over on her side to face the other woman. “First I helped a guy who’d twisted his ankle. I helped him get home and then I wrapped his ankle for him.” She smiled at Angel’s expression. “But _then_, as I was walking back, I heard a whistle.” She grinned and propped herself up on one elbow, tugging the covers to make sure she stayed decently covered. “It was a big guy, dressed all in black, like me, and he was beating this woman. And I stopped him!”

    I’ve liked the other excerpts a lot, and Florence’s made me laugh out loud. Always bend the rules to get the punch line in. 🙂

    • Thanks for sharing, Anthony! That’s also a good reminder that I’m a bit behind on following Stevie One. Time to keep reading!

      I agree about Florence’s punchline! The rules are meant to be broken, anyway!

  7. Jody Moller says:

    This one is a line from my current WIP, The Soul Hunter.

    Jealousy bit at him like a cobra, attacking again and again, the venom from each of the wounds spreading rapidly until his entire body was overcome. How was he supposed to continue on with his life as though nothing had changed?

  8. What a brilliant idea, this!!!! I’ll have to find something to contribute!!!

  9. Okay…There are so many things I could share. Here’s a small one: the beginning of the love scene…

    We are creatures of tides.
    The rhythm of two people joined. The tempo of the need that drives them. The cadence of hips and heartbeat. Ebb and flow, surge and retreat: the waves of Takedown, Fall and Rise, played out on the shore of two bodies, the Exercise of Touch as it had always and never been.

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